dilbert agile development

i don’t know all of the details, but i think one of you has to be designated the scrumbag. dilbert: it’s better than i expected. boss: our strategy is to be nimble and agile. boss: they ruined it with questions. we need three more programmers. “find me some words that do mean that and ask again.” tags #agile programming, #cpmplain, #training, #write code, #no more planning, #no more documentation, #just start writing the boss: we’re going to try something called agile programming. wally: “i’m glad it has a name.” wally: you should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. the boss: this is jerry the contract employee. dilbert: we haven’t even defined the project.

the boss: why are you so threatened by jerry? dilbert: i put together a plan for our data center project. the boss: we don’t need a plan we’re an agile company. where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. dilbert: yes, but… the boss: don’t be afraid of change. dilbert: what if i rapidly make a plan and tell you i didn’t? the boss: i’ll need to google that. alice: still waiting for you to give me the specs so i can start. you have to meet me halfway. i mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? should i ask again tomorrow? dilbert: my job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. carol: i heard they all died.

we need three more programmers. “find me some words that do mean that and ask again.” tags #agile programming, #cpmplain, #training, #write code, #no more planning, #no more documentation, #just start writing the boss: we’re going to try something called agile programming. wally: “i’m glad it has a name.” the boos: “that was your training.” i don’t know all of the details, but i think one of you has to be designated the scrumbag. boss: our strategy is to be nimble and agile. dilbert: do other companies have a strategy of being clumsy and slow? an older man, dilbert and wally sit at the lunch table. the man says, “when i started programming, we didn’t have any of these sissy ‘icons’ and ‘windows.'”

the man continues, “i wrote an entire database program using only zeros.” the boss says to wally, dilbert, asok, and alice, “we’re going to try something called extreme programming.” the two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week.” wally says, “the new system is a minute old and i already hate everyone.” dilbert says to a business associate, “i can’t give you all of these features in the first version.” dilbert continues, “and each feature needs to have what we call a ‘user story.'” wally and dilbert are sitting at one computer. the boss approaches and says, “the two of you will be a code-writing team.” dilbert types with a furrowed brow. the boss: “i’ve decided to standardize the department on a new programming language.” dilbert: “with all due respect, that sort of decision should be made by someone who knows his mass from a black hole.”

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view 1 – 10 results for agile methods comic strips. discover the best “agile methods” comics from dilbert.com. transcript. boss: we’re moving to an agile methodology for software development. i don’t know all of the same holds true for best – or good – practices embraced in agile software development. be aware, agile jokes, agile manifesto, dilbert devops, agile cartoons, dilbert coronavirus, dilbert by topic, dilbert scrumbag, dilbert software development

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